professorbutters

The Looking Glass World of Cheese and Pie Ch. 2: Mage and Magician Pinkie Pie stood on her chair, waved both arms like an air traffic controller, and shrieked “OVER HERE!” It was taking a while for Cheese to make his way across the cafeteria. He’d clearly done something to make other students decide that the new guy was hilarious, and couldn’t resist showing off. Little musical runs and tweets were coming from his direction. He also seemed to be having a hard time finding them, until Pinkie Pie reached the limit of her patience and screamed. She jumped over one chair to make room, and Cheese slid up, with a heavy b

Cheese took a deep breath. This was going to be very hard. Nearby, yellow and blue balloons twisted slowly, a mute tribute to Pinkie Pie. He swallowed, hoping his voice wouldn’t shake. “I don’t think Pinkie had any idea how important she was to so many ponies. I’ve tried to tell her, and I don’t think she believed me. But I think Equestria’s always going to be a bit happier because of her, and it’s good to look back on her life and remember everything she’s done.” He tucked a noisemaker into the corner of his mouth. “And it’s especially amazing and super-duper awesometastic

This fic is a partner piece to Triple Threat. You can consider it a sort of prequel to that and to another fic, Triple Slam. It’s out of continuity from my other CheesePie work, meaning that it isn’t a certain look at their future at all. Cheese Sandwich sighed. Normally, he wanted to be surrounded by happy ponies with goofy smiles on their faces, but not right now. It was the curse of being funny. If he were being eaten by a shark and screaming, “help! I’m being eaten by a shark!” everypony would just stand around slapping their knees and wheezing, “oh, that Cheese Sandwich, he’s such a kidder,̶

Chapter One: Cake, Cheese, and Pie The Looking Glass World of Cheese and Pie—chapter 1 Ch. 1: Cake, Pie, and Cheese “But I can do it myself! I’ve proven I can be responsible, haven’t I?” wailed Pinkie Pie, hugging her knees as she perched on one of the squishiest chairs. “It’s my middle name—Pinkie Responsibility Pie. I mean, look at me now! The Cakes are letting me run the whole bakeshop today!” True, but on this wet Sunday, there was little to do. The bakery section of The Sugarcube was relatively quiet on this March day, especially since a heavy downpour had started a few hours ago.

Written for the CheesePie-Fans Hearts and Hooves day contest Party of Two Cheese Sandwich had the definite sense that he was being followed.  Scratch that—they were being followed. Half a dozen ponies were tracking him and Pinkie, right down the center street of Ponyville, and it was making him nervous. “Not that I know a lot about it, Pinkie,” said Cheese, dropping his head so it was on a level with hers and speaking under his breath, “but I thought that Hearts and Hooves Day was something you did with a special somepony and not with a crowd.” A pair of big blue eyes –so very big, and so very blue&mdas

The North Orchard stretched above Applejack’s barn and farmhouse, connected by a dirt road that led to the train station. The Apples found it was more convenient to pack the apples in the orchard and haul them straight to the freight cars, which would take their premium apples to restaurants and markets all over Equestria.  As the five friends trotted briskly through the orchard, Twilight began noticing junk that Applejack and Big Mac would never have allowed to accumulate. Broken barrels, damaged crates, party horns, streamers--- Party horns?  Streamers? ---balls of every size, hats, cages of white mice, looking thoroughly annoyed, p

Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity were gathered at the Golden Oaks Library, which Twilight had shut for the afternoon. They were making use of an unusual opportunity to share their worries about their pink friend, who was minding the Cakes’ twins, Pound and Pumpkin. She wasn’t going to be bursting in suddenly, so they’d have to have this conversation now. Applejack and her family were pruning the North Orchard, which was going to involve a lot of cleanup after a violent storm. Rarity sniffed as she levitated a delicate teacup towards herself. “If you ask me, that was not the behavior of a gentlecolt, leav

There was a difference between Cheesy Sense, and whatever this other thing was. Years of being Equestria’s premier party planner pony hadn’t prepared Cheese Sandwich for this. Cheesy Sense, the alarm that signaled him to go throw a party wherever he was needed, was urgent.  It hit suddenly and said clearly, “go here, go there,” kicked him in the hindquarters, and sent him racing off after it, all over Equestria. This – this other thing was a slow, steady pull, always in the same direction—back towards Ponyville. He had caught himself headed that way several times, almost as though he were sleepwalking, and

Swear on Camembert, Chapter One If you want to get Technicolor about it Cheese Sandwich had barely gotten five miles away from Ponyville before he realized that his Cheesy Sense was talking to him. He’d known it was telling him something, but he hadn’t been able to identify it, because it was telling him something it had never told him before:  go back. He shook it off and trotted on a few paces. Go back?  Why? He couldn’t go back after such a dramatic exit into the sunset, especially a dramatic exit with a hat. Besides, he never went back anywhere right after a party.  The only reason would be to throw an after-party, an